Let's Be Still
by ameliashepherds
Summary: Amelia's inner-monologue, so to speak. Stay away if you don't like first-person POV. Also these characters, sadly, aren't mine. I might treat them a little better though.
1. Chapter 1

It's been a long day. Or, days, I should say. Considering I've been working for the past twenty-six hours. I've never really minded the long hours, though. Constantly seeing patients and dedicating all of my time and energy into figuring out complex neurons, it's... Well, it's what I need.

Because, let's face it, I'm an addict. I'm using an old approach, of course. The same one that I used when I decided to go to med-school in the first place, putting my nose in the books, and spending every free minute studying or being with other people. I know myself well enough to know that in these first few years, at least, alone time is the opposite of what I need.

And even though I have considerably more friends than I did when I first moved to Seattle, they're mostly all paired off. So on the off-chance that they do find time in their ever-so-busy schedules to hang out with me, it's not something I'm all that interested in anyways. Not getting laid sucks, but hearing about other people, and their super hot sex lives? Yeah, that sucks even more.

But lately I've been hitting it off with Owen. Interesting, I know. I never pictured myself being attracted to a taller-than-average red-head, with an equally tragic background. But I am. I really freaking am.

At first I wrote it off as general horniness, with maybe a touch of loneliness. My conversation with Meredith, Maggie, and Bailey _did_ make me reminisce about the days when I had a warm body in bed next to me. But, if I'm being honest with myself, it was something more than that. Even at the beginning. When my addiction confronted me at work, yet again, he just seemed to _get_ it. And not in the "Oh, it's so admirable that you're getting your life together!" way that people usually see it. He understood my pain, which on some weird level, was sort of gratifying.

We kissed, of course. Weeks after I started to notice that I spent way too much time thinking about what it would feel like to have him in my bed, his hands roaming my body, his lips at my throat. Yeah, weeks after that, I finally decided to get my ass in line, and go over to his trailer. I was awkward and freaky, and I didn't even end up being the one to initiate the kiss, but it made my knees weak all the same.

I got busy with the Herman case after that, but it doesn't mean that I didn't spend every free second of my time thinking about how good it felt to kiss him. I've dated quite a few guys in my lifetime, but none have ever been as genuine as Owen. I was so tuned into Herman's issues, and proving to myself that I could be the right Shepherd, that it probably appeared to Owen that I had completely forgotten about him. I couldn't even find the courage to kiss him, so of course I couldn't tell him that I spent most of my down-time thinking about him.

But, without fail, he was always there when I needed him. Just when I would start to feel as if I couldn't stand up for a second longer, that I couldn't analyze Herman's charts for one more second, he would be at my side with a cup of coffee. And that fucking addicting smile. When I needed reassurance or just someone to listen to my craziness, it was like he appeared out of nowhere. Once I finished the case, and allowed myself about a thousand years of sleep, I think I realized just how much I wanted Owen. Obviously in the sexual form of the word, because I'm not dead, but in every other form, too.

When the case with Ruby came up, it was like I was drawn to him. I couldn't resist putting my hand on his shoulder to comfort him, or to seek his eyes out during the hard parts, just to make sure that he knew that I was right there with him. I've never had that urge before. I've never felt so connected and protective over a man before. Yeah, like I said, I've dated quite a bit. And I've had serious relationships. But there was never this... profound sense of understanding and comfort that I had with him.

So it didn't surprise me all that much when I had him pinned up against a door in the on-call room after I finished surgery. Yeah, I may be cowardly when it comes to the first kiss, or in this case, the first hug - though I did have some awkward part in that - but I have no problem finishing what he started.

There's a lot of kissing and heavy breathing, and I keep thinking to myself that it feels so incredible to just be here, with him, that I almost don't want to move. Of course, I'm also a realist, and beyond familiar with a doctor's schedule. So I push my hips against his, sort of grinding against him in a way that I know is bound to get things moving. He picks me up, something I wouldn't usually like, but for some reason, with him, it's incredibly sexy. It's a short walk to the sad excuse of a bed in the on-call room, but I don't even notice that we've hit the bed. I'm too busy tasting him. Cataloguing the feel of his stubble against my face, the hard press of him against me, and on top of me. The way his breath sort of hitches when I push against him again, and start making a trail down his neck. All very, very nice things.

Pagers go off, interrupting what was going to be a very promising first encounter. And all through that day, I was reeling from it. I was pissed as hell, of course, when our second attempt was interrupted. It was starting to feel like the universe was getting back at me for not jumping him sooner, and god, do I regret it.

And that takes me to now, where I'm just coming off of my twenty-six hour shift. I look up from my cell phone to see Owen, and even the sight of him manages to give me those stupid fourteen year old girl butterflies. But he doesn't have to know that.

We're still awkward, at this point, so he does a little wave that just about melts my heart.

"Hey."

_"Hi. Uh... Are we still- Did you want to, uh, you know?"_

His inability to form words is cute, and as I'm about to respond with something equally as awkward, suddenly, I yawn. Really sexy, I know.

_"Hey, look. If you're tired we don't have to, uh... We can always try again tomorrow."_

And I can't believe that I'm about to say this, but I'm relieved that he's offering me an out. Because as much as I want him, I want sleep even more. But you know what? I'm a goddamn neurosurgeon, so I can find some middle-ground somewhere.

"I'm exhausted, actually. So do you think that _we_ could just sleep?"

I hope that I put enough of an emphasis on the 'we' part for him to understand that I have absolutely no intention of going home alone tonight. Just because I'm not getting laid, it doesn't mean that I can't enjoy waking up to a man in my bed. And if we have a little extra time in the morning, then who knows? Maybe we'll make the best of it.

He's smiling at me now, which means that he's finally caught on to what I'm saying. But then he does the unexpected, though not at all unpleasant: he kisses me. Just a quick, soft, and entirely work appropriate kiss. Then he puts his arm around me, and we start walking to his car.

It's about forty minutes later, when we finally get to his place and get all settled in, that I realize how happy I am that I had the courage to request a sleepover. After a slightly awkward and yawn-filled conversation about what time we both needed to be up in the morning, and when he was absolutely sure that I would be comfortable in his big t-shirt and my underwear, we turned all the lights out.

His kiss goodnight was a little longer than your typical goodnight kiss, and there was tongue, for which I'm entirely grateful for. And then, just as I'm about to roll over, he grabs my face.

_"I'm uh, I'm really glad that you're here. In my bed. And in Seattle. You're just... incredible."_

I blinked for second so that he couldn't see my eyes start to water, because it's been a long day, and I'm a little bit emotional.

"Me too."

And we kiss again, shorter this time, and I finally roll over. Seconds later, he's at my back. His arms slip around me, and I can feel his solid chest against my back. I'm thankful the lights are out, so he can't see me grinning like an idiot, because it just feels so good. Even in the cold Seattle weather, he's so warm. And I'm surrounded by his smell, on the t-shirt of his that I'm wearing, on his pillows, and on him.

Which is why it isn't surprising that I'm fast asleep about ten minutes after he settled against me. We may not have "sealed the deal," so to speak, but if I'm guaranteed this level of comfort every night, there's no need to rush. I could lay here like this forever.


	2. Chapter 2

**Note: I spend an immeasurable amount of time in Amelia****'****s head, so I decided to take a break. This is Owen****'****s POV, which is, regrettably, new territory for me. Apologies to every Owen Hunt fan that feels as if this isn****'****t really his voice. I****'****m working on it. **

**Note 2: Yes, I****'****ve watched 11x17. Aside from the previous events, including: Herman, the three kisses, and a select few conversations that I felt crucial to developing this story, these characters are going to be taking the journey I want them to take. The similarities end at 11x16. Enjoy! **

I loved Cristina, I really did. And it took me a long time to get over the pain and the loneliness that accompanied her leaving. Her side of the bed was always too cold, and I could never quite seem to get over the fact that her toothbrush was missing from the cabinet by the sink. But, with time, I did get over it. I'll always love Cristina, sure. But in a different way than I did before.

And with Amelia, it's different. I'm attracted to different parts of her, and she brings out a different person in me. It isn't really fair to compare the two of them, because the circumstances and the individuals are completely different. But I like that I feel as if I'm enough for Amelia, that despite my failures and my emotional baggage, she cares about me anyway. And I'm trying really hard not to screw it up, or say anything dumb, because I think that this could be a really good thing.

"Hi. Uh... Are we still- Did you want to, uh, you know?"

I know, I'm a smooth talker. But here's the thing: Amelia's gorgeous and I get more than a little flustered at the sight of her. I had all of these things that I wanted to say to her about how good we'd be together, that I liked having her around - both underneath me and in general - but the second I saw her, my mind went blank.

And while I'm mentally calculating all of the ways that I've just screwed up our first encounter since we kissed, and silently hoping to myself that she finds my rambling and stuttering as adorable as I find hers, I see her yawn.

It's been a long day, both for her and for me. Seeing her yawn makes me realize that I'm more than a little tired, too. As much as I want to have sex with her tonight, and believe me, I _really _do, I want it to be enjoyable. So, instead of pushing the issue, and making it seem like I'm only really in it for the sex, I give her an out.

"Hey, look. If you're tired we don't have to, uh... We can always try again tomorrow."

I probably could have phrased that better. But I don't want it to seem like I'm turning her down completely, or that I'm not interested in sex with her. In fact, I wish she knew how much I've been thinking about her.

From the second she pushed me up against the door, a move that made showing even a _little_ restraint with her seem impossible, I knew that I was in trouble. I wasn't even going to last five minutes with all of the grinding and open-mouthed kisses she was dishing out. But, unlucky for me, I didn't even get a chance to see how long, or short, I would last. Our pagers interrupted us, and I was forced to drag myself away from the beautiful woman below me. It was hard. She was on my mind for the entire shift, and when our pagers interrupted us, yet again, I thought I might punch a hole through the wall.

This sexual tension, this need that I had to feel her beneath me, I thought it would take over the second I saw her after our shifts ended. But then she did that cute little yawn, and I decided that I could probably put my libido to the side, if only just for tonight.

I was so busy re-living our two previous encounters and thinking about all the things that I wanted to do in the future, that I nearly missed what she said to me.

"_I__'__m exhausted, actually. So do you think that __**we**__ could just sleep?__"_

Once my brain finally caught up to the implication behind her words, I couldn't stop the smile, or the blush, that spread across my face. At that moment, kissing her seemed like the only option. After briefly enjoying the softness of her lips, and the fact that she smelled like fresh flowers - impressive after working a twenty-six hour shift - I put my arm around her, and we left.

I tried to calm my nerves about our upcoming sleepover by making casual conversation in the car. We didn't talk about anything, really, aside from our current patients. It was nice though. She really cares about her work and her patients, and the look in her eyes when she talks about medicine, it's incredibly attractive. As if I needed yet another reason to find her attractive.

"So, um... What time do you need to be up tomorrow? Are you working?"

"_Yeah. Around seven-thirty, actually. What about you?__"__  
_"I'm always working. I'll set an alarm for seven-thirty."

During this little conversation it became apparent to me that, unless she was going to sleep in her black pants and blouse she'd need something to wear. I did a quick mental catalogue of everything I owned, and upon examining her - all five feet and three inches - I decided that a shirt was the best I could offer. Any pants or boxers I may have would be embarrassingly long on her. Plus, there's always the added bonus that she'll be in my bed. With no pants.

"I have shirts. You know, so you can sleep in something a little more comfortable."

The smile she gave me about knocked me on my ass, and I just kept thinking about how incredible she was. It was only after I turned around with a shirt in hand that I realized what was she was doing.

After making sure that I had a shirt, and that I was, in fact, staring at her, she stripped down. And suddenly she was in front of me in only her black, lace bra, and matching underwear. Oh, and she had this look on her face, like she knew exactly what she was doing to me.

It was all I could do to tear my eyes away from her breasts, or any part of her body for that matter, and give her the shirt. I came a little closer than necessary, because I'm still a guy, after all. And after giving her what I hoped was a completely arousing kiss, I stepped back and let her put my shirt on. I pulled the covers back and slid into bed, hoping that she would catch on.

It wasn't until she had climbed into bed next to me, and we had turned the lights out, that I realized how big of a step this was. And suddenly everything that I had wanted to say to her earlier, before her beauty rendered me speechless, came bubbling up again.

So I kissed her, first. I threw a little tongue in for good measure, because again, I'm a guy. And as tired as we both are, she's still Amelia, and she's still in bed wearing only my shirt and a very small pair of underwear. But once I got that out of my system, I gave the rest a shot.

"I'm uh, I'm really glad that you're here. In my bed. And in Seattle. You're just... incredible."

It wasn't much, or really anything close to what I had wanted to say, but I could tell that she got a little choked up nonetheless. It had been such an emotional couple of months for her, and I've found myself wanting to say these things, to hold her close, several times. It was incredible to finally be able to do it.

"_Me too.__"_

We kissed again, much shorter than I maybe would have liked. But then she rolled away from me, and I couldn't resist pressing myself against her. Putting my hands around her tiny body, letting them rest on her stomach, underneath her shirt. After breathing in the scent of her hair, and taking a few minutes to really enjoy the feel of her against me, I drifted off to sleep.

I could get used to this.

**Final note: I****'****m pretty goddamn tired of my notes, so I can only imagine how you feel. I fully intend on writing a morning-after scene, in addition to some other stuff that I haven****'****t planned yet. Stick around, or something. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for all the love, peeps! You sure do know how to make a girl feel special. I promise that I'll keep the notes to a minimum, but it's my first ever fanfic, so I'm like a nerd during syllabus day here. But anyways... Back to Amelia's POV. This takes a slightly more M rating than before, but nothing too extreme. If anything, it's a strong T.**

I wake up to the sound of the alarm going off. Something that hasn't happened in years, actually. I love my sleep, and I'll be the first to admit that I'm not a morning person, but a typical night of sleep for me usually involves a lot of tossing and turning. Some fucking bird outside will chirp or the rain will start to come down a little harder, and I wake up. And then I'm up for good.

The independent and emotionally detached part of me wants to think that I slept so well last night because I worked twenty-six hours, and any normal person would be tired. But the other part of me, that embarrassing, hopeless romantic part, knows that it's because I was here with Owen. His warm body, his shirt, his bed... It was comforting and perfect.

I leaned back and reached my hand out to hit the alarm, because god, I could use about two more hours of sleep. I'm just so comfortable. And that noise was really starting to piss me off. Like I said, not a morning person. It wasn't until after the alarm has stopped blaring, and my eyes have fully adjusted, that I realize how much of our positioning has changed since the night had started.

Sometime during the night, I had rolled toward Owen, so that we were completely tangled up. I actually had no idea where one leg started and another ended. We were almost chest to chest, and our arms were wrapped around each other (something I happily went back to after turning the alarm off.) I noticed that my - his - shirt had ridden up to above my belly button, so that a good portion of my stomach was exposed. Oh, and my underwear were in full view. This was good.

Owen hasn't woken up yet, which means he's either a heavy sleeper or he's just as comfortable as I am. But whatever it is, I plan on using this little factoid to my full advantage. Because, let's face it: I lied last night. I didn't have to be up at seven-thirty, or even anywhere remotely close to then. I have a shift later tonight, but that doesn't mean that I don't plan on making good use of my morning. I just hope my moves are good enough to persuade him that he can afford to go in late, just this once.

I start running my fingers through his hair, because it got all messy while we were sleeping. Something that I find incredibly sexy. But then, of course, I decide to move on to bigger and better things. He doesn't have a shirt on, something I'm still counting my blessings for, so I start to trail kisses down his chest. His eyes opened at some point during this, but he seemed content to just let me do my thing. That is, of course, until my mouth got to the spot just below his belly button. Then he decided to be a more active participant.

_"Good morning."_

He says this in an extremely sexy, sleepy, voice. And damn, if I didn't want him before, I definitely do now.

"Morning."

He's pretty much dragging me back up to him so that we're face to face, something I won't ever complain about. I lean in to kiss him, but he hesitates for second. So I pull back, just in time to see him give me a smile that both increases my arousal and makes me feel butterflies. I'm not quite sure how that's possible, but I guess if anyone's gonna be able to do it, it might as well be Owen.

We kiss, finally, and I can't help but ruin it by smiling. I'm so happy with the way that things are progressing between us. Maybe it isn't exactly the traditional route, since we haven't even been on a real date yet, but the emotional connection we have is real. It's something you can't fake. He understands my pain and my past without me having to say all that much about it. And eventually, yeah, we'll talk about everything in detail. But for now, it's nice to be in the fun stages of a potential relationship, but also feel a deeper emotional connection.

I start to grind against him, if only because I like to hear him groan. And I'm horny as hell. So, to illustrate that particular point, I peel off my shirt. His reaction is similar to what it was the night before, when I teased him a little bit by changing in front of him. And maybe some women don't like it when men stare at their boobs, but in this particular situation, I'm thrilled. It goes a long way towards making me feel every bit as sexy and desirable as I think he is.

He kisses me again and we start to get a little bit carried away, my tongue has a mind of its own, sometimes, but then he stops. And I swear to god, if he wants to quit, I'm not above begging.

_"Wait, wait. Sorry. But uh, don't you have work soon?"_

"No."

I start to grind against him again, and I can tell, and feel, that he's very much in the mood, too.

_"But I thought you said..."_

He's actually moaning and sighing as he says this, because I'm still, shamelessly, working my magic on him. Yeah, I really want to get laid. So what?

"Owen. I told you that I needed to be up because I wanted to have as much time with you, in bed, as possible. At some point, if we ever figure out what's going on between us, I would like to tell my brother and... sister about us. But, you know, over dinner or something. Not by showing up to work in the same clothes that I wore yesterday. You're the boss, you can afford to go in a little late. So if we're done having this conversation, take your clothes off."

Okay, maybe a little blunt, and most definitely harsh. But again, I'm trying to get laid. And if that doesn't happen in the next five minutes, I'm going a lot more harsh than I was a few seconds ago.

He doesn't seem to object, however, because after smiling at me he starts to pick up the pace a little bit. His eyes visibly darken, an incredible turn-on, if I'm being honest. And then in seconds, his boxers and my underwear are off.

The bra gave him trouble, something I enjoyed laughing about, but he did eventually get it off. And there was nothing funny about all of the extra attention his mouth and hands gave my breasts once that barrier was removed. The man was gifted.

But as much as I loved everything he had been doing thus far, nothing compared to the moment he finally decided to thrust inside me. It was incredible.

When it's all said and done, and we've both reached our climax, he looks up at me. I'm still laying on top of him, and damn if it isn't the most comfortable position I've ever been in.

_"That was... Amazing. You're incredible."_

I'm smiling like an idiot again, and I can't resist the urge to kiss him.

"You're not so bad yourself. And the whole tall guy, big penis thing? Totally true. And very impressive."

My lack of filter is sometimes embarrassing, and I'm just about to start blushing furiously and apologizing, when he chuckles. That's a sound I could get used to.

_"Yeah, uh. Thanks. I'm really glad we did this."_

"Me too."

I continue to lay on top of him, content to just fall asleep again. But, of course, my stomach starts to growl. I can hear him chuckling beneath me, and I laugh too, despite my embarrassment.

_"How about I try and make us some breakfast?"_


	4. Chapter 4

**Relationship discussions are, as it turns out, incredibly hard to write. Hopefully this isn't too weird. This chapter is Owen's POV. Sense a pattern yet?**

I'm sitting in another meeting, about my fifth of the day, when my mind starts to wander. I'm thinking about Amelia, of course. I can't help but think about how amazing the past twenty-four hours have been. It's been forever since I've felt this... Awake. Alive, even. I'm smart enough to know that the word love shouldn't be on my radar, yet, but Amelia's awoken something in me that I didn't even know that I had.

I can't wait until I can see her again. It'll be hard, sure. Not letting the entire hospital know that I'm dating Amelia Shepherd, I mean. Because every time she walks into a room, it's impossible not to stare at her. But concealing our relationship at work is a small price to pay if everything continues to go the way it went last night, and this morning.

After we finished an incredible round of morning sex - the perfect way to start my day - I made her breakfast. We were about to go back to bed post-sex, but her stomach started to growl, so I offered to cook. Sleeping was more ideal than getting out of bed, but I'd do practically anything at this point, if it involved her.

Scrambled eggs and toast hardly seemed like something to rave over, especially considering my limited cooking abilities, but she seemed really impressed.

"You know, I'm not really a cook. So, uh... You don't have to pretend to like those."

_"No, they're great. Amazing, actually. I can't cook. Like at all. I've burnt toast on more than one occasion, and I'm pretty sure that if takeout didn't deliver, I'd starve."_

I had to smile at that. My brain started to conjure up images of Amelia putting toast in the toaster and then walking away to read some article, and forgetting about it until she came back into the kitchen, and smoke was everywhere.

"I'd be happy to cook eggs and toast for you whenever you want."

This was my first real comment, out loud anyways, about any sort of longevity between us. I didn't really think about that until after I said it, and then I started to get nervous. What if she didn't want a relationship? What if it was just about sex?

These were probably all things that we needed to discuss. So... why not now?

_"I'd really like that. I think Derek's probably tired of me mooching off of his morning breakfasts, and Meredith might actually be worse at cooking than I am-"_

"So are we dating?"

I cut her off mid-ramble, and then I froze. Shit. What was I thinking?

"You don't, uh, have to answer that. I'm sorry. It's just... This morning was good - great, even. And last night... was even better. And I don't... Ah, I don't want you to think that it's only about sex for me. Because it's not. I like you, Amelia. And I want to... date you."

Somehow, in about thirty seconds, I managed to lose all of the charm and sexiness that I might have acquired during our night together. I'm back-peddling now, and I know it. I'm offering her an out, an escape, something to end this awkwardness.

I was too busy fumbling my way through an explanation to even notice the smile that began to form on her face. Of course, I stopped rambling when she kissed me. I would pretty much stop whatever I was doing if I was guaranteed that Amelia would be kissing me.

_"You know, I'm usually the one that does all of the embarrassing rambling. When I showed up to the trailer... Asking you if you dated co-workers. It's nice that it's you for a change."_

Her quick-witted comment had me laughing. Although, I think we're about even when it comes to embarrassing moments.

"Thanks. I'll try to embarrass myself around you more often."

She was laughing, too, at this point. She has an amazing laugh. If nothing else, I wanna spend a lot of time trying to make her laugh, because that is a sound that I don't ever wanna live without.

_"But, to answer your question... I think we should. Date, I mean. I'm a mess, you're a mess. I think we'd be good, too. But you do realize that means you have to take me on an actual date, right?"_

"Yeah I'd... really like that."

I could actually feel the tension leaving my body. I was ecstatic that the awkward conversations, for the most part, were behind us. With all the crap that we've both been through lately, we deserve something fun. And I'm more than a little glad that I can start having fun with her.

Talk about double entendres.

_"So I know that I can't have you all day... But when exactly do I lose you?"_

At this point she was sitting on my kitchen counter, her legs swinging underneath her. Still wearing only my shirt. God, this was a good day.

"I should probably start getting ready, actually. People were expecting me about an hour ago..."

The look in her eye was one of pure mischief. Curious, given the news that I just delivered to her, about me having to leave. But hey, I'll bite.

"What? What's that look for?"

_"Well... You have to shower."_

"Yeah."

_"So... You have to shower, I have to shower."_

Oh. I was starting to get it now.

"We should probably just shower together. For... environmental reasons."

_"Exactly. There are droughts happening in parts of the world. It'd be a shame for us waste water."_

So we showered together. And I'm not gonna lie, showering alone now seems like the worst punishment in the world. I can't imagine showering without her in there with me, passing me the soap, distracting me from actually getting ready.

But as much as I liked showering with her, and believe me, I did, I liked seeing her in the trailer even more. I like that she used my spare comb to brush out her hair, and that she borrowed my deodorant. That she felt comfortable enough to maneuver around me while I did my morning routine. It all felt... natural.

As I was finishing up my routine, and she was sitting on the bed watching me, I had to ask:

"So, we never said, but tomorrow night?"

_"That sounds perfect. I get off at seven."_

Since we drove together to the trailer, I dropped her back off at the hospital, but not before we made out like teenagers in the parking lot. It was a delayed goodbye, but what can I say? I can't get enough.

As she was got into her car to go back to Meredith and Derek's, I noticed my t-shirt sticking out of her purse. She had changed into her original clothes from the night before, but she kept my shirt. Maybe it's something minor, but it doesn't feel like that to me. It feels big.

So that's how I ended up here, in yet another budget meeting, thinking about Amelia. Is it any wonder that I'm still reeling from our morning together?


	5. Chapter 5

**This chapter is a lot less upbeat than any of the previous chapters. A few things you might need to know before reading: this does contain spoilers for season five of Private Practice. If you haven't watched, or you don't know the full story behind Amelia's baby, this might not make sense. This is less important, but in case you were wondering, an intracranial teratoma is rare, and makes up about only 1% of brain tumors. It's completely operable, though it does often times block certain functions (eye sight, etc.) for short periods of time. Amelia's POV.**

The thing about being a doctor is that, often times, it doesn't really matter what time my shift ends. I'm the chief of neurosurgery, and when there's any kind of medical emergency, surgery, or patient in need, I'm usually right in the center of it.

Maybe some doctors would criticize me for caring too much, for not being able to leave a patient at the end of the day. Hell, med-school me would criticize present-day me. But it's just not who I am anymore. I care about my patients and I love my job, almost to a fault.

So when a seven year old boy was admitted to the hospital with an intracranial teratoma, I knew that today would be a long day.

The resection of the tumor was the easy part. I'm a damn good surgeon, and I knew that I would be able to give Ethan a full life, with relatively normal functioning. It was everything before and after the surgery that was hard. Child cases always stir up something inside me that I can't escape.

We were scheduled to go in at a quarter to five, and it was going to take at least two hours. And I wanted to monitor Ethan, to be there when he woke up, just to test his functioning. I did all of my pre-surgery rituals, and then I went looking for Owen. I felt guilty that I would have to push our date back a few hours, or possibly even cancel, but I knew he would understand. Surgeries on children take an emotional toll on everyone.

_"Hey! I just saw the board. Looks like our... date my be a little later than planned?"_

The way he was smiling at me my stomach do back-flips. Nobody has ever made me feel this way. I needed to focus, otherwise this conversation was going to take a completely different direction than I intended it to.

"That's actually what I came to talk to you about. I'll probably be wrapping up his surgery at about seven, which is when my shift ends, but..."

_"You want to stick around and monitor the kid?"_

"I do. He's just a boy, and I don't know, I feel... I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I was out on a date when he was waking up, especially if there was something wrong. And don't get me wrong, our date is-"

_"Not as important as this kid is. I get it, Amelia. That's one of the things about you that I find most attractive. You care about your patients, and I care about you. I can wait."_

There's just something about Owen that.. Works. He's truly the most amazing guy that I've ever been with, and we haven't even really been together. In the five minutes that we'd spent together today, he had managed to take all of my anxiety, guilt, and sadness away. Is it any wonder that I felt so bad about potentially missing our date?

"Thank you."

He looked around for a second, and then bent down, and he kissed me. Soft and quick, but just what I needed.

_"I'll be here."_

After that, I went into surgery and I resected the hell out of that teratoma. I was feeling pretty good about myself and definitely more optimistic about the rest of my night until I went out to tell Ethan's mom how it went.

Even though the surgery went perfectly, she still wrapped her arms around me and cried. And I get it. He's a seven year old boy, and anything short of a paper cut is a parent's worst nightmare. But this was brain surgery, and no matter how minor it might have been, it was still brain surgery. Nobody wants their child to have brain surgery.

It took all that I had to not burst into tears in front of his mother. Yes, I care about my patients, but it wasn't about that. It was about the fact that Ethan was a boy, and because I'm incapable of separating my own life from the lives of my patients, and I'm a fucked up mess, all I could think about was my child.

I thought about my child all the time. Every free second that I had, every time I saw a boy on the street, or a baby in NICU, my mind went straight to the day that he was born. To all of the pain and anger that I felt on what was supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life. He was the most beautiful thing that I had ever seen, and I was so happy that I got to hold him... But I knew that he couldn't stay.

I walked down hall and into the bathroom, and I let myself breathe for just a few seconds. I couldn't let myself cry because I needed to see Owen, just so that I could cancel our date, and I didn't want him to see me like this.

My phone had a text from him on it, letting me know that he would be in his office, waiting for me. And that I should stop by once the surgery was over. I had to smile at the fact that he was so intent on seeing me, even if there was a slight possibility that our date might be cancelled.

As I walked down to his office, I regained control of my emotions. Or so I thought. But when I walked into his office and saw him sitting there, smiling up at me, with two boxes of Chinese takeout on his desk, I started to cry.

Maybe it was because he was thoughtful enough to order food for the two of us, that he was able to anticipate that I probably wouldn't feel like going out tonight. That, combined with the fact that it's been an incredibly hard day, is enough to make anyone cry. But the fact that I didn't even say anything when I walked into his office, that I just started bawling, is more than a little embarrassing.

The look on his face is one of pure concern, and I'm getting more embarrassed by the second. But I can't stop crying.

_"Amelia! What's wrong? Are you okay?"_

He all but jumped out of his chair to rush over to me, and then he wrapped his arms around me. Amazing, but that little detail went a long ways towards calming me down.

"Yeah, I just- Dammit. I was just coming in here to tell you that I couldn't go out tonight, that it's just been... A hell of a day. And I didn't expect you to be so sweet, and I just... I'm an idiot."

_"No, no, you're not. Let's just sit on the couch and relax for a bit before you go check on Ethan. Are you hungry? Eat, breathe, let it all out. It's okay."_

By the time he had maneuvered me to his couch, I was a snotty, tear-stained mess. His shirt was mostly tear-stained, too, but he didn't seem to mind.

While he was grabbing the food from his desk, I made an attempt to wipe my eyes and clean myself up. I wasn't really that hungry, this entire ordeal had made me lose my appetite, but it was sweet that he was so concerned.

As he set the food down in front of us on the coffee table, and situated himself very close to me, I took a few shaky breaths. I couldn't just waltz into his office, start crying, and then pretend that nothing happened. I needed to tell him something, anything. Talking about my past isn't exactly my strong suit, but I care about Owen enough to try and get it right.

"It's just that it was a kid case. A boy case. And my baby... he was a boy. For forty-three minutes he was a boy. And it's so hard for me to other little boys, other parents with their boys, because I don't have that. I never got to have that. I never got to worry about if the bike helmet I bought him was protective enough, or if the elementary school he was at was the 'right fit' for him. And it just... Sucks."

That was more that I had said to anyone, in a long time. And it felt good. It felt good to open myself up to him, to let him see a different side of me.

When I looked up, there was a sadness on his face. Something that I hadn't ever seen on him before. I was waiting for him to say something to me, but what do you say to that?

So he didn't say anything. He kissed my forehead, wiped the tears off my cheek, and put his arm around me. It wasn't until I had my head rested on his shoulder, my breathing had steadied, and I stopped crying, that he said something.

_"So we'll wait together. When Ethan wakes up, you preform all the tests you need. And I'll be here. And when you're ready... We'll go back to my house, we'll eat this Chinese food cold, and then we'll sleep in. Okay?"_

"Okay."

Maybe it wasn't love yet, but it was very, very close.

**Apologies for the dark turn, peeps! But I've always been deeply unsatisfied with how little time was spent on Amelia's grieving post-delivery. This was my attempt at shedding some light on how she might feel daily, though I, obviously, can't be sure. The speech about not being able to worry about her child felt necessary, though. PSA: we're nearing the end of the story.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Owen's POV.**

Ethan had woken up fine, of course. I never had any doubt that he would, because Amelia is great surgeon, and it was a relatively easy surgery. I wasn't worried about that.

I was, however, worried about her. I didn't know the full details behind her pregnancy, or what all happened, but I do know that carrying a baby to term and delivering it, without ever getting to enjoy the impact that child has on your life... I cannot even imagine that kind of pain.

That, coupled with the fact that she witnessed the murder of her father, and battled with drug addiction... It's a miracle that she's still standing. She's strong. And I love that about her.

After she did all of the necessary examinations on Ethan, and we drove to the trailer, I managed to get her to eat some cold Chinese food. She was in my shirt again, something that made me inexplicably happy, and we were tangled up in bed. We had pillows propping us up, but she sat sideways, with her legs laying over mine. And we just ate in silence for a while. It was comfortable, though. It's been a while since silence has been comfortable.

She turned to me, then, looking up with tear-stained cheeks. _"Some date, huh?"_

She was laughing, though, so I laughed a little bit too. It wasn't what I was expecting when I envisioned our date, but I can't honestly say that I'm not happy with the way things ended up.

"Okay, so maybe it wasn't what we had in mind, but... I'm happy with this kind of date, too. I like getting to know you, the bad parts and the good parts. And cold Chinese in bed is never a bad idea."

And I wasn't just saying that to make her feel better, honestly. I've loved getting to know her, all of the broken little bits and pieces. And the good stuff, too. She's an amazing doctor, she's smart, she's incredibly funny... What's not to love?

Because yes, I love her. Maybe I wouldn't tell her that, yet, given our current situation. But I would eventually. These past few months I've been thinking about all of the different parts of her personality and her appearance that I love, and then I realized that maybe it wasn't all the parts of her that I loved, it was her as a whole. I loved her.

And I can't help but think that maybe, with the way she's looking at me, she might love me too.

She moved the Chinese takeout boxes to my bedside table, scooted close to me, and kissed me. I knew that sex wasn't on the venue for tonight, and I wasn't expecting anything. But I was happy to just be kissing her. I liked doing that.

_"Thank you for... being there for me. You know, I had been feeling like crap all day. And the only person that I could think of, the only person that I wanted to go to... Was you."_

I won't pretend that my heart didn't swell at her admission. So much so that the those three little words were aching to come out of my mouth, but I held them in. I didn't want to ruin this moment by making her uncomfortable.

"I'm glad to be of service."

I kissed her forehead then, turned the lights off, and then we snuggled into our usual sleeping position. Funny that after only two nights we developed sides of the bed, and a sleeping position. All of those things scream permanence and longevity. I'm hoping that's what this is.

I woke in the morning to the rain, and the light sound of Amelia's breathing. Two things that I absolutely love waking to. I slipped out of bed to cook some eggs and toast, and brought it in on plate just as she was waking up.

_"You know, if you keep cooking me meals in bed, I might not ever get up. Or leave."_

"How do you know that's not my plan?"

I kissed her good morning, another favorite of mine, and we shared breakfast. There wasn't much talking involved, just a lot of chewing sounds and scraping of forks, but I was content with the way things were going.

_"I have to get into work pretty soon to check on Ethan again, but... Do you wanna, maybe, meet for lunch? I know cafeteria food isn't exactly a romantic restaurant, but we're doctors, so it's a close second."_

"Of course. Come by my office when you're ready to eat and we can walk down together."

Her smile at the confirmation of our plans spread a warmth throughout me. This was going to another good day. All days seemed manageable when I had Amelia to look forward to.

_"Perfect. Well, I better get going if I'm gonna check on him."_

She hopped out of bed and started to brush her hair and teeth, using my comb and the spare toothbrush she used last time. I'm still laying in bed, content to watch her go through her morning routine.

There's something incredibly... alluring about watching her change from my shirt into the clothes she wore last night. Maybe it's just her that's alluring, and therefore everything she does becomes that way, too. As I'm contemplating this, I forget that I've been staring at her. She smiled at me, apparently noticing my obvious staring, and started walking towards me.

_"So I'll see you around one, then?"_

"Yeah! That's perfect."

Then she bended down to kiss me, a soft, but quick peck on the lips.

_"Love you!"_

It took about a full minute for us both to realize what she just said. Since we're both awkward and seemingly out of practice, we just stood like idiots.

I noticed the color begin to form on her cheeks. She started to get flustered.

_"Oh my god. That's just a habit, I uh- when I leave Derek and Meredith's in the morning we do this round of 'love you's' with the kids and each other and I just- not that I... Oh my god."_

"Amelia, relax. I wanted to uh- I almost said it to you last night, actually. I just didn't think you were ready to hear it, and I didn't want to scare you off. But... I love you. So you can take it back or whatever, if you're not ready, but I'm not going to."

She stared at me for a minute, gathering herself, I think. And then smiled. It was another one of those incredible, heart wrenching smiles.

_"Yeah? Okay... Well I do really need to go, and I'll see you at one. But... I love you, too."_

I had never seen her walk faster, and that alone might have made me nervous, but she was smiling. She's happy. And the fact that I had any part in that makes me incredibly happy.

That was two weeks ago.

A lot has happened since, but for the most part, it's all been good things.

Amelia stays over every chance she gets, though we work a lot of nights. And we have as many meals together as we can manage.

There have been a few hiccups, like getting Meredith and Derek to be completely on board with our relationship. But after an awkward, but weirdly fun, double-date, we've made progress. Amelia and I have officially become the go-to couple to watch Zola and Bailey when they need a little... time together. Which we're totally and completely thrilled about.

But for the most part, we're just enjoying each other. We spend a lot of days just wrapped up in bed, spending a good amount of time having sex, but we talk, too. And I love every minute of it.

I didn't ever envision a life where I would have a healthy relationship. I didn't think it was possible for me to meet someone with as much emotional baggage as me, and even if I did, I didn't think we'd ever make things work. But Amelia and I struggle together, and we work through it together.

It's been the best two weeks of my life. I find that even the mundane things in life are incredible, as long as I get to do them with her. But what can I say?

I'm in love.

**END.**

**I hope you all enjoyed my feeble attempt at making these two incredible characters come to life. Let me know your thoughts, as well as any suggestions you have for the future, and I might just come around again.**


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